There’s a dim light coming from under the bathroom door and the sound of a running shower. I roll over, check the clock—3:47 am. It’s Saturday. Yes! I think to myself. I might get a few extra minutes of shut eye before the kids wake me up. I doze back off, waking up to a sweet kiss on the cheek and an “I love you” from my LEO (law enforcement officer). The door clicks and locks. I look at the clock—4:01 am—and drift back off to sleep.
I’m awake! The Superman theme song ringing loud from my phone—it’s my LEO. It’s still dark. What time is it?! I answer—feeling groggy and unsure of what is happening.
“Hello?” I say, glancing at the clock—4:32 am.
“There’s an active shooter", he says. “An officer was shot. I am on my way there now. I will call you when I know something.”
Did I misunderstand? I’m so confused. “An officer was shot?”
“Yes, I will call you when I know something.”
And silence…as the empty, nauseous feeling enters my stomach. Worry sets in. The unknowns, the what-if’s, the waiting for a call back. I know the drill. I’ve been here before. But I can’t predict how it will end. And the awful thoughts of vigils… and funerals… and processions…quickly fill my memory.
I’m now wide awake, the clock staring back at me—4:46 am. I send off a quick text: “Please be careful. I love you.”
My mind wanders. Should I get up? Make coffee? Watch the news? No. That won’t help. I decide to pray…for my LEO, his fellow officers, for our police family. I pray for their safety. But most of all I pray they are all alive at the end of this stand-off.
And then I wait…
6:57 am—I finally get a text, “It’s over”.
Oh thank you, Lord! My heart is racing. I take a deep breath. I feel so relieved. I pray again, thanking God for taking care of them and asking for His presence as the officer undergoes surgery.
Then, I slowly drift back off to sleep.